Xmas in the 20th Century
'Twas the night before Christmas the very last one
when the blazing of lasers destroyed all of our fun.
Just as Santa had lifted off, driving his sleigh,
A satellite spotted him making his way.
The Star Wars Defence System, Reagan's desire
was ready for action, and started to fire.
The laser beams criss-crossed and lit up the sky
Like a fireworks show on the Fourth of July.
I'd just finished wrapping the last of the toys
When out of my chimney there came a great noise.
I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
St. Nick bringing presents for Missus and me.
But what I was next was disturbing and shocking
A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking.
Charred reindeer remains and a melted sleigh-bell
Outside burning toys like confetti they fell.
So now you know, children, why Christmas is gone
The Star Wars computer had got something wrong.
Only programmed for battle, it hadn't a heart
'Twas hardly a chance it would work from the start.
I couldn't be tested, and no one could tell
If the crazy contraption would work very well.
So after a trillion or two had been spent
The system thought Santa a Red missile sent.
So kids dry you tears now, and get off to bed
There won't be a Christmas since Santa is dead.